Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
