I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
