just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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