The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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