He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
