Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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