You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
