Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize