omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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