I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
