I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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