new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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