Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize