Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
