She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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