So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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