apparently the secret to your success is patron
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize