What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
