It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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