Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
