Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
