his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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