i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
