She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize