can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
