Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize