My room smells like vodka and shame
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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