Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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