I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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