haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
