brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
