Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Terrible idea I love it
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
