ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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