i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
