remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
