he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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