batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
