There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
