We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
