Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
