She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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