So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
