i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
