i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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