who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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