I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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