Buhtt sex?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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