Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Randomize