I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need to sanitize my soul.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
