You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
