We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just made out with a guy for $7.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
