I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Randomize
