Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I understand Curling. That high.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
