So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize