if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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